Jokes

How To Tackle Roommate Who Snores

Four guys were at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Daryl and […]

Good Wives

Two women friends had gone for a girl’s night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives. However, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take […]

English New Rules

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known […]

An Atheist In The Wood

An atheist was walking through the woods. “What majestic trees”!“What powerful rivers”!“What beautiful animals”!He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river,he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path.He looked […]

Three Stages of A Man’s Life

SINGLE MARRIED DIVORCE

Paint My Porch

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire himself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood. He went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for him to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” […]

Italian Men

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following.. “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come […]

Adam Air’s Captain Speaking

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking, welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of Adam Air!We apologize for the four days delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. This is flight 717 to Yogyakarta.Landing there is […]

George & Condi

George : Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening? Condi : Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George : Great. Lay it on me. Condi : Hu is the new leader of China. George : That’s what I want to know. Condi : That’s what I’m telling you. George […]

Can CoLd Water CLean Dishes?

This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean. Frank went to visit his 90 years old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Sydney. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, Frank’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, Frank noticed a […]