December 4th, 2007 by Dunn
Two women friends had gone for a girl’s night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives. However, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.
Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.
Her friend, however, was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.
The next day, one woman’s husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said,
“These damn girls night out have got to stop. I’m starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties.”
“You think that’s bad?!” said the other husband, “Mine is lying in bed with a card stuck in her ass that says:
From all of us at the Fire Station. We’ll never forget you.”
Popularity: 2%
November 30th, 2007 by Dunn
European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. 
Popularity: 2%
November 24th, 2007 by Dunn
An atheist was walking through the woods.
“What majestic trees”!
“What powerful rivers”!
“What beautiful animals”!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river,
he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path.
He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.
He tripped and fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him,
reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, “Oh my God!”
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
“You deny my existence for all these years,
teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.”
“Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer”?
The atheist looked directly into the light,
“It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now,
but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian”?
“Very Well,” said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed.
And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together,
bowed his head & spoke:
“Lord bless this food,
which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord,
Amen.”
Popularity: 2%
